Emotional Intelligence in Sales: Your Secret Weapon for Building Lasting Relationships

As a sales recruiter, something clicked for me over the years. Sales have changed. It’s not just about who can close the most deals or hit the highest targets anymore. There’s a quality that makes top performers stand out, and you won’t find it on a resume. It’s emotional intelligence (EQ).

Now, if you’re thinking, “Isn’t sales all about numbers and targets?” Believe me, I used to think the same thing. But I’ve learned that while numbers matter, what really sets someone apart in sales is their ability to connect with people—and that’s where EQ comes in.

I’ve lost count of how many resumes I’ve reviewed, all boasting incredible figures. And sure, hitting those numbers is important, but it’s not always the most impressive candidates on paper who thrive. More often than not, the ones with a high EQ are the ones who consistently succeed.

So, what exactly is emotional intelligence in sales? It’s not just being likeable or friendly. It’s having a deeper understanding of yourself and others. It’s knowing how to pick up on what’s not being said and being able to adjust your approach in the moment. In sales, this can be a game-changer.

But why does EQ matter so much now? Well, the sales game has shifted. It’s not about pushing products anymore. Buyers can find all the information they need online in seconds. What they’re really looking for is someone who gets them, understands their problems, and can offer solutions that fit.

I had this one client—let’s call her Sarah. She was having a tough time filling a key sales role. They had gone through a few hires already, all with strong track records, but none of them lasted. When I looked into it, the issue wasn’t about their sales skills. It was that they couldn’t connect with the company’s unique client base.

So, we changed our approach. We started focusing on candidates with high EQ. And wow, what a difference it made. The person we ended up placing wasn’t the most experienced, but they had an incredible ability to read people, adjust their style, and build real relationships. Within six months, not only were they hitting their targets, but client retention had improved dramatically.

When I’m interviewing candidates, I look for more than just their sales achievements. I pay close attention to how they listen. Are they truly engaged, or are they just waiting for their turn to speak? I also like to ask about challenges they’ve faced. People with high EQ tend to be more honest about their failures and what they learned from them.

One of my favorite things to do is throw in a question that’s a bit unexpected. I’m not looking for a “right” answer—I just want to see how they handle themselves at the moment. I might describe a tough client situation and see how they’d approach it. The best salespeople know how to adapt on the fly because every client is different.

Now, don’t get me wrong—sales experience and numbers are still important. But after all these years of recruiting, I’ve learned that combining hard skills with emotional intelligence is the real key to building teams that consistently succeed.

For sales leaders, this might mean rethinking how you hire. Are you giving enough weight to EQ in your evaluations? Are you asking questions that let candidates show off those soft skills?

And for sales people looking to level up? Start working on your emotional intelligence. It’s not just about being “nice.” It’s about understanding yourself and others on a deeper level and using that to build meaningful relationships.

I’ve seen firsthand how teams can be transformed when EQ is a priority. Suddenly, meetings aren’t just about closing deals—they’re about solving problems together. Cold calls become warm conversations. And instead of just getting a sale, you’re building partnerships that last.

At the end of the day, sales isn’t just about closing deals. It’s about opening doors and building relationships that stick. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that emotional intelligence is the key to unlocking those doors.

So, next time you’re hiring for your sales team—or if you’re looking to stand out in your career—don’t underestimate EQ. It might just be the competitive edge you need. Because understanding the numbers is one thing, but understanding people? That’s what really sets you apart.

‍